Posted by CANbike on Thu, 11 Sep 2014

[Parody] Apple Watch - "You're Not Alone" Preview

  • None of the following is true!

Apple announced on September 9, at the 2014 keynote, its long rumored Apple Watch. Reactions were mixed due to a lack of previews and samples.

Thankfully, we managed to get an exclusive preview of all 22 watches. That’s right, gotta collect them all!

Well, the press releases and marketing looked great. However, upon further investigations, I was shocked to discover the following marketing when the packages arrived!

Apple Watch-You're Not Alone.gif

iWatch

It was initially a mystery why Apple did not call it the iWatch. Well as can be seen, there were much bigger plans for Apple Watch!

Apple Watch – You’re Not Alone

It’s not just a watch, as Apple is watching you! In an attempt to innovate, a new OS was created with advanced artificial intelligence and monitoring abilities.

Formerly marketed as the activity and fitness apps, is the new enhanced “you’re not alone” security update. Yes, you read that correctly. The watch will stalk it’s owner and monitor every breath they take, every move they make, every bond they break, and every step they take.

Indeed, I felt better sleeping at night, knowing Apple was watching me.

Apple Innovates

Bravo Apple. They fooled their competition by leaking rumors of the iWatch.

While others literally tried to create a hand wristwatch, Apple ditched the bland “activity and fitness” apps model and moved to the big brother model. They weren’t just releasing a watch, but an ecosystem known as Apple Watch.

Initial Impressions: Excellent

It’s not just a watch. It’s Apple Watch, a whole new security system to monitor your every movement.